I watched part of the Miss Universe, or whatever it is called, a few weeks ago. I was in awe of their beauty. I can remember far back to when I was a young girl, thinking certain women in my life, and those I saw on tv, were beautiful. I had a judgement of what I considered to be beautiful, even at as young of an age as probably about 5 or 6. Maybe younger, I don’t know. As I got older, ideal beauty consumed me, as it does many and most teenagers. One day my mom found a baggy with white powder in it in my bathroom. She became very angry and yelled at me to come upstairs. Of course she questioned me about it, assumed it was drugs. It was baking soda. I had seen on a tv show that if you add it to your toothpaste, your teeth would get whiter. (Obviously, I’m old and this was before whitening toothpaste was available… or effective.) I remember going on a diet when I was in kindergarten with my best friend who lived down the street. We told each other we only eat lettuce for every meal. I fought with my mom about what clothes I would wear to school.. in first grade.
What’s odd, and all women know this I think, is that we are not only judging ourselves to adhere to certain standard of beauty, but we are constantly judging each other as well (men included). Or is that just me?
Either way, as I got older and had kids, I realized that I honestly just could no longer keep up. I can’t do it all. I can’t take care of the children, attend to my husband, make sure the house is in working order, make all the hard decisions, take care of the finances, and STILL care for myself. I just cannot do it. Therefore, my standards of beauty for myself have fallen by the way side. It’s fine. I’m fine.
What I have noticed, however, in all this unpacking of ideals, is that every person that I see, I can honestly say that I see such amazing beauty. Do they have flaws? Of course. But man, I truly see so many beautiful people, all the time. I see them driving their cars, walking on the street, at church, in the store, at my daughter’s dance class, in videos on the internet, in my friends, my family, in my clients’ homes, in my workplace… oh man, my workplace… It is filled with such beauty!
So did the world get more beautiful over the past few years while I checked out after having children? Or am I seeing people in a different light? Am I seeing beautiful souls? Am I seeing how we are meant to see each other?
It’s not perfect. It’s not 100%, but it is definitely the majority of the time. This may be my positivity finally shining through. Who knows, but at least I can say it is beautiful. It might even be that pretty glow. 💗